Do you ever have those moments where you feel like things are getting on top of you and you start to feel abit negative? Everything seems like an uphill battle and you just want to sit and wallow or stay in bed. We all do… even those who put on a strong front. A few years ago I would have said I was quite a negative person. When you go through tough situations it’s sometimes hard to see any light and your constant thoughts include, ‘why is this happening to me?”, “things are never going to get better”, “things are crap”, “I am crap”… and a whole load of other negative things. It makes you doubt your decisions and your purpose and can honestly be hard to lift yourself from them. Being negative is extremely common and when you’ve been through difficult things it takes alot of mental strength to bring yourself through it and attempt to put a positive spin on everyday life. But you certainly can! It takes time to realise that your thoughts create your emotions , and that it really is mind over matter. We all get those days where we wake up and think… nuh uh this day isn’t for me, I’m crawling back under the covers. But what if you could surpass those feelings and use your own power to start the day positively every day? Here are 10 ways you can try and do that!
Write it down
I have done this from such a young age. I’ve always been a journal/diary writer and have always vented my thoughts and emotions on to paper. It’s honestly one of the best ways I personally deal with stress and negativity. Whether it be in a diary, a random notebook or even my notes on my phone, writing things down allows you to vent without affecting others around you. Negative thoughts often fester and leads to overthinking, and you find you’re thinking up things that haven’t even happened yet. Try writing down your thoughts and emotions, and revisit it later, at a time where you can manage it and reflect with an open mind. People often stress about work as they are getting into bed… but why? Work finished at 5pm for most didn’t it? Theres nothing you can do about work at 11pm from your bed, so write down your thoughts (so you don’t forget them) and revisit it them the morning when you actually have to get up for work. Another thing you can do is actually write down positive thoughts. A really good exercise is to write down one positive thing every morning when you wake up. It aligns your positive thinking for the day and could literally be about anything- a positive thing about yourself, your life, someone in your life. Anything positive.
Remember that Friends episode with Bruce Willis, where he’s standing in front of the mirror and says, “I’m the man, I’m just a love machine”… (I’ve linked it below if you can’t remember)! This was him chanting positive affirmations to himself to boost his confidence. Reading through positive affirmations everyday has been known to boost your confidence and help you maintain a positive attitude. Try reciting them throughout the day in fact. I found this great 30 day affirmation challenge by Brian Tracy which I’m using at the moment but you can always write your own too!
This sounds so simple, but genuinely just being nice to people not only makes others feel good, but really increases your own mood and happiness. Simply being friendly, is such a positive act and can make you feel better about yourself. Seeing someone else react positively to how you act boosts your confidence more than you think. If you’re rude, theres potential for someone to be rude back, and you just don’t need that negativity in your space, and neither do they!
Think happy and surround yourself with positivity
I mentioned that thoughts create emotions. Positive thoughts will lead to positive emotions. This can be quite a hard thing to do when everything seems and feels like utter BS. But pushing yourself to think of positive things will move you into the possibility of being more positive. Another important thing to do is surround yourself with positivity and one of the best ways to do this is by being with positive people. Being immersed in the company of people who make you happy and who are positive, inspiring and caring helps so much when you’re not feeling your best. Surround yourself with people that bring you smiles and encouragement and as harsh as it sounds, let go of people who only proceed in bringing crap to your life.
Take some real time to yourself
We often get caught holding the worlds problems on our shoulders and we also never properly stop and take some time to ourselves. People are always going at 100 miles an hour trying to get things done, see people, deal with things, go to work etc. Finding the balance can be hard. One of the most positively impactful things you can do for yourself is give yourself some TLC. Do the things you want to do and really indulge in your own company. Investing time into yourself isn’t selfish, its self-healing and strengthening because if you’re not happy, how are you going to make others happy?
This is a technique that I have really used since I’ve struggled with anxiety and weirdly, it’s probably my favourite. When I can sense that something negative is coming my way, I start visualising in my mind the most positive scenario. Some might say you’re dreaming and yes it’s actually quite like that. But more, I like to visualise the positive outcome of a situation. It helps me to not overthink about the negative. If you think about something you’d like to happen, you’d be surprised at how often it happens.
Breathing techniques and meditation
Meditation plays a big role in my life, more so now because I’ve realised how effective it is, but I used to meditate occasionally when I was at University, particularly during stressful periods like exam time. It’s now something that over the last few months I have made a conscious effort to incorporate into my routine because I love the positive vibes that follow and I love the calm. As I like to visualise things, meditation has worked quite well for me. Breathing techniques are so so important in dealing with stress or negative thoughts and allows you to relax your mind and body. Focussing on your breathing makes you forget about negativity and troubles and gives you a real sense of inner peace. It also helps you sleep better (which in itself surpasses negativity as you don’t have conscious thoughts) because you’re body is much more relaxed. I honestly knock out after taking about 6 deep breaths… its better than trying to count sheep.
Do you ever get that guilty or groggy feeling after you’ve eaten shit all day? Most people do, and it’s because crappy food is only designed to give you short term bliss. Eating right makes you feel right. What you’re putting into your body has a real impact on your emotions and appearance. You need energy-boosting healthy foods and plenty of water. The more good stuff you are putting into yourself, the better you will look, and in turn the more positive you will feel about yourself.
When we feel down in the dumps we often try to find every negative thing about ourselves and it is self-destroying. Getting up and being active is sometimes the last thing you can be bothered for. Not only does exercise occupy your body and mind, it also encourage the release of dopamine which is the neurotransmitter in our body that is responsible for the feelings of pleasure and happiness. When I exercise I feel so happy because I am genuinely doing something good for my body and it clears my mind. Just knowing and feeling that you are working on yourself, taking care of yourself and doing something to actively make yourself look and feel better is such a positive thing. The results of exercise can only be something positive aswell.
Give social media a rest
In the world we live in, everything is online, negativity is everywhere. At the end of the day, people are dicks to each other. And it’s right there for everyone to see. You go on twitter, and you’ll see hate comments to someone who’s tweeted their OPINION on a matter and everyone decides to get involved. You go on instagram and someone appears to be having more fun than you and you feel like your life is shit. It’s a natural instinct to compare and be jealous but at the end of the day, social media has given us an outlet for that and we all need to realise it can bring out the worst in us (read my post about it here). As hard as it is, tune out of social media and put your devices down so you don’t have to be a part of it.
Incorporating these things into your way of life can be hard at first, but once you get into a routine it becomes a lot easier. I hope these tips help, I’m by no means a positivity expert and I still struggle at times, but there’s always a way… you’ll find a way 😉